Spiders We Have Heard on High

Within the past three days (in three separate places) my head has been attacked by artificial spider webs. It's a week and a half before Halloween, so this makes sense. But I've never before noticed how many places decorate with these spider webs. I'm not necessarily complaining because when I was a kid I used to COVER my front yard with these spider webs. We'd be taking down webs until New Years. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I went digging around the yard today and found some old webbage. But after seeing webs plastered on the walls and ceiling at two different bars and in my little booth at work, it's really given me time to ponder their purpose. They look eerie and all, I get that. But is there a spider web season?? And if so, is that season now? I'm pretty sure spiders spin webs year round, so why do they just get put up during Halloween? We should be embracing the gifts of spiders year round! Throw some Christmas spider webs on the Christmas tree; give the one you love a heart shaped spider web for Valentines day; hang up that red, white & blue web with pride on the 4th of July. The possibilities are endless. So while I don't necessarily enjoy getting artificial webs stuck in my hair from running into low hung webs, I think we're severely under-utilzing the abilities of the spider. So I say thank you to spiders today. But I will also give thanks to my eight legged friends during my Thanksgiving feast; and when the ball drops on New Years; and when I'm planting a tree on Arbor Day in hopes that the tree will one day be infested with spider webs. Thank you spiders.

I'm Mike D and I get respect!

I see lots of random stuff on my way to work and I tend to keep these randoms siting's to myself. But today I realized I have a perfect outlet right here! So today I saw a truck for a local plumbing company called "Mike Diamond Plumbing". I've seen this truck many a time before, but on this day it cut me off and I was stuck behind it for a good mile or two while in traffic. This gave me plenty of time to notice Mike Diamond's slogan which I had never before noticed. On all sides of the truck, the words "The Smell Good Plumber!" are plastered. This REALLY got me thinking. Probably more than it should have. But I couldn't help but wonder what exactly they meant by this? I mean, I get that plumbers deal with very smelly things, such as toilets where human waste is often excreted. So does the slogan mean that they will make your plumbing jobs smell good? Or does the slogan literally translate to the plumber him/herself smelling good?? That sounds nice and all, but is that really what people are looking for in a plumber? Is there an abundance of foul smelling plumbers? And if so, is Mike Diamond offering us all the alternative of good smelling plumbers? I guess that's not a bad thing. But for some reason when I imagine the smell of these plumbers, I just smell cheap cologne and breath mints covering up the falafels they had for lunch.

Well when I got to work, I went onto Mike Diamond's website and right there on the homepage is Mike Diamond's personal guarantee: "I guarantee my plumber will show up on time and smell good or your house call is free!". So it IS the plumber that's guaranteed to smell good! That's quite a guarantee Mr. Diamond. What if your plumber's internal plumbing isn't quite up to par? That might not smell so great. And sometimes you can't control that. I'd sure feel bad if I was the plumber who happened to have bad gas that day and ended up breaking your guarantee, Mr. Diamond.

All said though, I think it's a ballsy move on Mike Diamond's part and I applaud him for his innovative thinking. I WISH I could make a guarantee like that to the people I see on a daily basis. But I just can't. And to those people, I apologize.