So I had two friends in town earlier this week, Greg and Chuck, who took off to Nor Cal for the end of their road trip yesterday. So to show them off in the best way I knew how, I took them out to breakfast at IHOP. Not only did I take them for pancakes, I took them to an INTERNATIONAL HOUSE of pancakes. Damn I'm a good host! We all enjoyed our various breakfast foods and I personally ordered the Double Blueberry Pancakes. Now obviously with a name like Double Blueberry Pancakes, I was expecting there to be quite a few blueberries on these pancakes. But holy crap, I'm pretty sure they forgot to give me pancakes with my blueberries! These things were COVERED in blueberries. Funniest thing about that is I'm really not that big a fan of blueberries. I just really like them in pancake form with the bomb blueberry syrup IHOP gives you. Anywho, we all devoured our meals and said our goodbyes as Greg and Chuck took off on their road trip. I went home and took a quick nap to let my breakfast settle. But apparently these blueberries (or atleast one of these blueberries in particular) had other ideas. I wake up from my nap and feel a slight bowel movement, which I've found is a common occurrence among human beings. So I take care of my business and after I'm done I take a look in the bowl, as is generally habit for me. I'm surprised and somewhat worried to see a small darkish object sitting at the top of the bowl. I get as close as I can without making myself vomit only to discover that this small dark object is a FREAKING BLUEBERRY! I had just POOPED a WHOLE BLUEBERRY!! I didn't know what to do. Dig it out and save it? Take a picture? Sit back down and see if I could squeeze another one out? I sadly did none of these things and instead proudly glared into the toilet bowl in awe of my accomplishment. I regret not taking a picture as proof, but I doubt many people would have enjoyed this visual as much as I would.
So there are a few thoughts I've had on this experience since it occured. First, this blueberry made it's great escape from my body not more than three hours after I originally put it in my mouth. I'm no digestion expert, but I'm pretty sure food normally takes a little longer to digest than that. So the saddest thing of all this is that my body rejected the valuable nutrients inside of the blueberry and instead just kept passing it along at each digestion station in my body. Quite the determined blueberry; my sister dubbed it "The Little Blueberry That Could".
One of the other blueberry thoughts I had came as I was watching the Dodger game last night. I realized that this blueberry may just be the ultimate sign of my devotion to the Dodgers. Dodger fans always brag about how they bleed Dodger blue...but I'm pretty sure none of them have bled any color other than some shade of red. So maybe they're really Cincinatti Reds fans? BUT, from the moment that blueberry found it's way into the toilet bowl yesterday, I earned the right to officially tell people that I POOP DODGER BLUE!! Or, I poop Dodger blueberries anyways. Maybe the Dodgers should look into selling Dodger Blueberries. I'd buy them. Back to the point though, Dodger fans, be jealous. None of you can say you poop Dodger blue. The truth is in the toilet bowl...
You know I would have appreciated that picture as much as you!
ReplyDeletePoop Dodger blue....hahahahha
you're the only person i thought of who would've appreciated it. well, you and pretty much any one of our cousins.
ReplyDelete