Sally Snizzle

This is part two in a series of blogs devoted to frequent callers I get on the request line at my job (KROQ-Los Angeles). For part one, scroll down and look for the blog titled "The Cure Guy". For now, I introduce you to:

Sally Snizzle


Now before you go and get all confused, Sally Snizzle is actually a guy. My first experience with Sally was last year during the weeks prior to Weenie Roast (KROQ’s annual summer show). He was calling quite frequently trying to win tickets and instead of just hanging up after I told him he didn’t win, he’d kind of give me a hard time and ask why I couldn’t just give him the tickets. I get this all the time, but this guy actually had a funny demeanor to him. So during one of our brief conversations, he asked if we could come up with a secret code so that I’d know it was him when I was looking for a winner. During each of our contests we look for caller 20 by picking up the first 19 calls saying “KROQ 1, KROQ 2, KROQ 3” and so forth until we reach 20. We never wait for a response from the first 19 callers, we just tell them what number they are and hang up on them. So Sally decided that I should answer the same way but instead of hanging up right away I should listen for a response. If it was him on the line he’d yell “SALLY SNIZZLE!” and I’d know to put him on hold and make him the winner after I answered the rest of the calls. Of course I wouldn’t actually make him the winner because that would be breaking our policy and if I got busted for that I’d lose my job. But I still told him I’d listen out for him. And I did, but sadly I never once heard a “SALLY SNIZZLE!” during my numerous contests. It was actually pretty fun for me as I’d answer each call and kind of smile in anticipation of hearing a grown man yell “SALLY SNIZZLE!” at me. But he’d generally call after the contests disappointed that he wasn’t one of the first 20 callers, but glad that I actually listened for him. But that’s the way the name Sally Snizzle came about and he continued to call at very random times even after Weenie Roast and has since become one of my regular callers.


If I had to guess, I’d say Sally is in his late 20s or early 30s. He could be a bit older though. It’s hard to tell because he’s a total stoner and usually calls me when he’s high, so he sounds like a young surfer dude. But he cracks me up every time he calls. He’s actually a pretty smart guy, very quick witted and he’s always very careful about telling me details on his life. All I really know about him is he has a girlfriend who used to work for a hotel (I know this because he offered to get me a job at this hotel) and he smokes a lot of pot. Oh, and I know music plays a pretty big role in his life because he’s sometimes playing guitar while he’s on the phone with me and he’s ALWAYS telling me about bands I should check out. It’s kind of funny because he’ll call to win tickets to KROQ shows, but then he’ll spend 10 minutes talking shit about the music we play and telling me how much better we used to be. Then he’ll tell me how we COULD be so much better if we played such and such a band. I’ve actually checked out a few of the bands that he told me to listen to and enjoyed them.


One of the most interesting on-going mysteries about him is his connection to KROQ. He’s able to name people who work for KROQ who really only people who work for KROQ or have some kind of inside connection to KROQ would know. The last time I talked to him he asked me if we were hiring or if I could get him a job. I told him we were looking for phone-ops and told him where to send his resume and he said, “Maybe I’ll apply…it might be cool to work for KROQ again….I mean, it might be cool to work for KROQ.” And when I called him out on the “again” and asked when he used to work for KROQ he said, “No, what? No I’ve never worked there.” But he said it in a kind of funny tone that sort of hinted he was lying but didn’t want to get into it. Personally I kind of like the mystery, but I’m still gonna bug him about it.


I always tell Sally that he needs to set up a blog because the stuff he says is too funny and just out there to be kept between me and him. (For the record though, he tells me that he calls a bunch of other radio stations and bugs them. So I’m not the only one who gets to hear his gems. But the other stations don’t give him the time of day like I do, so they’re missing out!) I’m still not sure whether his stories are all bull shit because he tells them with such conviction. But I’ve decided I don’t care because they’re entertaining regardless. It’s funny when he tells me that he’s looking through his guitar pic collection telling me where he got each pic from. He claims that he catches them from various guitarists when they throw them out into the crowd from the stage. This wouldn’t be that weird of a thing to hear if it was just a few pics, but he listed off all kinds of names for me. And it seems pretty unlikely that he’d be in just the right position at each of these shows to catch these tiny pieces of plastic. But it’s funny picturing him sitting there fishing through all these pics saying, “yeah this one was from Dave Mustaine when he was in Metallica…hang on, I also have one from him from a Megadeth show. Yeah, here it is. And this one is from Slash….” and so on and so forth. The last story he told me was when he ran into Dave Grohl (lead singer of Foo Fighters/former drummer of Nirvana) at a random show at the House Of Blues and ended up hanging out with him for the night. He claims Dave bought him drinks and they talked about some small Nirvana show that Sally was at years ago before Nirvana hit the main stream. Dave said he remembered the show and thought it was crazy that Sally was there. It’s just funny because any or ALL of that story could be false. Did Sally really see Dave Grohl at the House of Blues? Maybe, but did he actually talk to him or did he just make the story up? Or maybe he really did go up and say hi to him but didn’t really get into conversation with him. Or maybe they did hit it off and every single bit of the story is true. This is why I enjoy talking to Sally so much because there’s really NO way of knowing based on the way he tells his stories.


One of the funniest stories he told me was about a time he climbed a tree just outside of the Hollywood Bowl when Radiohead was doing a sound check. He claims he does this all the time because it’s close enough to see the shows without actually having to pay to get in. But he said he was singing along and making a bunch of noises from the tree, like hooting and cheering just because he could. He says that Thom Yorke (the lead singer of Radiohead) looked out in the direction of the tree and said in his thick, softly spoken-British accent, “sounds like we got a monkey in the trees there, huh?” and just left it at that. Seems like this story could have very well been made up but the way Sally tells it, I’m somewhat convinced it actually happened.


It’s almost always a bad idea to meet people who call the request line on a regular basis, but I almost feel like running into Sally on the street would not end badly. He really wanted me to use my KROQ connection and request tickets to one of the Metallica shows in LA last December to take him as my guest. I came close to considering it only because I’m sure it would’ve provided for some funny stories. But it would’ve totally ruined the mystery that is Sally Snizzle. That and, you know, he could actually be a serial killer who would’ve taken my life, so I probably made a good choice.