17

So let me set the scene. It's almost spring and we're having the first warm day we've had in LA in a while. So my best bud Danny invited me and our whore of a friend Yasmine out to the beach. (Yas isn't really a whore, but I thought that might be a fun way to introduce her to you all.) There we are at the beach soaking up the sunshine, when two girls grab a spot maybe 20-30 feet from us. One of these girls is fairly attractive and catches my eye. She looks a little like Mila Kunis. And her friend... well she's not quite as fortunate in the looks department. I try to refrain from mean comments, but Yas ended up dubbing her "The Grenade". That was mean Yas. So we're enjoying our beach day and so are these two girls, but I notice that Mila-look-a-like keeps glancing over my way. And the only reason I notice this is because I keep glancing over her way. We actually made eye contact several times and even smiled at each other a few times. Which NEVER happens to me. At one point, the two girls got up and took a walk. Perhaps to the restroom? Though I don't know why they wouldn't have just gone in the ocean for that, but that's beside the point. The three of us are pretty much ready to leave by that time, so my loving friends suggest I leave Mila-look-a-like a note with my number on it. Danny, Yas and I scramble to find something to write on, eventually coming up with one of Danny's old receipts (surprisingly not filled with condom and booze purchases) and an eye-liner pencil. I start writing the note and the girls walk back. Damn. So as we get ready to leave, Yas and Danny are encouraging me to just go up to her and hand her my number. I stall and make excuses, but after a few minutes finally grow a pair, write down my number and march right up to her. Here's the conversation that ensued:

Me: Hi, so I never do this, but I just think you're really pretty and my friends have been encouraging me to go talk to you, so I figured I'd say hi and pass on my number to you.

Mila-look-a-like: Oh wow, thanks... That's really sweet of you to say....

(Me smiling in anticipation)

Mile-look-a-like: ...but I'm 17.

Me: Ohhh.... well then....

The Grenade: I'm 18!!

Me: Oh so do you want this then? *holding up my number*

The Grenade: YEAH!

Me: Haha. (don't actually give Grenade number, turn to Mila-look-a-like) Yeah, so what're you doing after high school then?

Mila-look-a-like: I'm going to Cal State Fullerton.

Me: Oh nice. Well good luck with all that then.

Mila-look-a-like: Thanks. And thanks again for the nice compliment.

Me: Oh sure, and thanks for your honesty. I appreciate you not lying and turning me into some sort of creep.

Mila-look-a-like: Haha, oh you're so funny, maybe I'll take your number and call you in 3 months when I turn 18.

Me: OK!

Ok, so everything except those last two lines actually happened. After I made the creep comment, I just kind of slowly faded away, giving her the creep eye. Joined back up with my friends to give them all the pedophile-full (pedophul?) details. But seriously, how much does that suck?! I've always been too chicken to be the aggressor, and now I finally do and she's in freaking high school! You sure know how to pick 'em Kevin. Can't wait to see what my next run-in with a girl will hold! Stay tuned....