I Wanna Take You To The GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR!

Having a gay best friend is awesome. I went to Mickey's in West Hollywood with Danny (the gay best friend) and my non-whore of a friend Yasmine last night. Lots of gay men, lots of gay music. In fact, we kept a tally on my arm of how many times Lady Gaga came on. As you can see in the pic, we only got to five before the alcohol got to be too much for us to remember. But I'm sure that number was probably double by the end of the night.

I like to think that I'm a rare breed of straight man who doesn't mind going to gay bars. I think they're pretty great. I mean, the obvious downside as a straight man is that 90% of the people there are men whom I have no sexual attraction to. But the awesome thing is that they have a sexual attraction to me and it can be quite the confidence booster to be hit on by them. That did not happen on this night, BUT, the other awesome thing about gay bars is that straight female friends often accompany these gay men. Fag Hags, Fruit Flies, or whatever other names you have for them. I just stick with "Straight Female Friends Who Often Accompany Gay Men." It's more catchy. So while I did not receive much attention from men on this night, I did have a run in with one of these Straight Female Friends Who Often Accompany Gay Men. I was good and sloshed by this point and found myself out on the dance floor shaking my groove thing with Danny and some of our other friends, when I suddenly notice a fairly attractive girl wearing a short blue dress dancing next to me. I ask Danny if he thinks she's straight, and that's all the lead Danny needed. He was determined to get me a dance. So he moves his way over to her and has this conversation over the pounding music:

Danny: Are you straight or gay?!?

Short Dress Hot Girl: Straight!!

Danny: My best friend is straight, and he LOOVES to dance!!

Me: *Gives thumbs up with dorky face*

Short Dress Hot Girl: *Smiles as she gets pushed over to me by Danny*

So there I am dancing with this girl. And by dancing I mean I'm standing still trying not to fall over from being too drunk while she's backing her thing up into me. (Do they still call it "backing their thing up"?) And this girl was doing some serious grinding on me! I felt moderately violated. So we "dance" for a few songs and she never turned around to face me. Which I guess was alright, but I don't really remember ever seeing her face. After the few songs, her gay friends kinda swooped in and danced her away from me. I think she looked over their way and gave them the sign to swoop in. Which sucked, it would've been nice to go home with a number from the gay bar. From a Straight Female Friend Who Often Accompanies Gay Men, that is. Could've added that one to my very short resume. But I didn't. When I told Danny that she left me, he got mad at her and kept yelling, "She doesn't know what she's missing!" Seriously, he must have shouted that like 12 times. Danny's a good friend.